Only 2 kinds of people in the world


, , , , ,

There are 7 billion people, give or take a few hundred million, living on this 3rd rock from the sun we call Earth.  In traditional anthropological studies those 7 billion people are divided into 5 different races.  A division mostly discarded by the science of today useful only for sowing the seeds of discord.

These 5 races can be subdivided into ten thousand to twenty-seven thousand different ethnic groups, depending on your source.  They speak more than seven thousand languages across 200 countries.

The most superficial internet search will show that we are divided into at least twenty major world religions and two-hundred-seventy large religious groups.  Christians alone are further divided into thirty-four-thousand smaller groups.  That leaves three-quarters of the world’s population to be divided among the other bizillion smaller religious groups.

Liberal, independent, conservative, democrat, republican, leftwing, right wing, and some people so far on the fringe they’re in danger of falling off the edge of the earth.  Add asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, to the list and there seems to be an infinite number of ways we can think of to divide ourselves.

On and on it seems to go, much to complicate for such a simple man as myself.  No sir I am not a complex man and to be honest I am also a bit lazy, so to keep things simple and easy I divide people into two groups that cut across all lines…some people are cool others are dickheads and that’s pretty much it.  Given a chance most people are cool.  Problem is it only takes a little bit of bad to screw up a whole lot of good or a little bit of dickhead to screw up a whole lot of cool, but we keep going.

Being a red-blooded American with certain unalienable rights, I am not a lawyer or a scholar so do not quote me on this, but I believe I have the right to hang out with whoever I want to.  So given a choice of kicking back and having a couple of beers with a Chinese Moslem homosexual who is cool or a White Christian heterosexual ( my own group ) who is a dick head, I would have to go with the cool dude, just common sense.  I do not know how many days I have left on this earth but I do know it’s not enough to waste any of them drinking beer with a dickhead.

P.S.  I am not trying to be politically correct with the example above its just that I know from experience that some white Christian heterosexuals can be dickheads…I’ve never actually met a Chinese Moslem homosexual.

I never needed imaginary friends


, , , , , ,

The average human brain weighs only 3 pounds, yet within this limited size dwells a mind aware of self and others a mind capable of conceiving infinite space and eternal time. Such a complex mind is constructed from a multitude of components.

There is of course the main component that can be thought of as “I” or “The Boss” who is responsible for the finale decisions and any actions the physical body may take.  There is also a supporting cast of characters.  Such as the nagging conscience, the voice of reason maybe the needy child, the coward or the hero, just to name a few. Who help “The Boss” think things through and look at issues from different perspectives.

This supporting cast is more vocal in some people than in others.  It is the type of thing usually sorted out in childhood, with imaginary friends being a key to future results.  Imaginary friends are little more than imaginary bodies to hold the very real voices inside a persons head.  Always being personally comfortably with the voices in my head I never needed imaginary friends.

Unfortunately, as a child, I was unaware that one was not to converse out loud with the voices in their head.   6 psychologists (some of those people really need help) and various medications later we learned to hide the error of our ways, for the most part.

Over time we conditioned ourselves to keep our discussions and conversations internal, again, for the most part.  There are those times of intense debate or great excitement when we bubble forth into vocalization, but they are few and far between.  With the arrival of blue tooth all problems were solved; just snap a piece of plastic to the body’s ear and talk out loud whenever we wanted.

The voices in my head have been together since the beginning, we are one big family.  With the problems any family might expect, one such problem is that a couple of my voices now speak Spanish and I am not bilingual.  It does cause the voice of aggravation to become more active and paranoia to increase vigilance, but as in any family we strive to overcome.  The question of sanity does arise from time to time but the consensus is always that “I” am.  It would be nice for the vote to be unanimous but we take what we can get.

So remember, if you speak to someone and they seem distracted or even aloof do not take personally.  It may simply be that they are already deeply in gauged in conversation, even if they are sitting quietly alone.

In Defense of Beauty


, , , ,

I wish to take this opportunity to defend the beauty profession.  Not beauty salons, schools, or products but those who have chosen to be beautiful as a career.  They are often ridiculed and insulted, dismissed and degraded by the narrow-minded and the ignorant, by the jealous and the envious.  I wish to take this opportunity to make an attempt to bring understanding not only of the career of beauty but of the dedication and hard work of those who pursue it.

Your first inclination might be to believe that a career of beauty is easy, that beautiful people are simply born beautiful.  My reply to that is yes and no but mostly no.  I’ll give you a couple of examples. To be a teacher or an engineer requires some degree of intelligence.  Intelligence which they are born with, but that alone is not enough, it still takes years of hard work and dedication to become a teacher or an engineer.  Another example, a professional athletic is born with a given talent but that alone will not get him/her into the pros, again it takes years of dedication and hard work.

The same is true about a career of beauty only more so as beauty is so subjective and at best only 50% of what the person was physically born with.  The other half of what most people consider beauty consists of such things as cloths, makeup, style, attitude, and public relations.  Beauty is an excellent career choice for many, it requires no education, little intelligence, and only rudimentary people skills.  At the top of the profession, actress and model, there are millions to be made.  Missing out on that there is always the opportunity of marring well.  Should all else fail there is the sugardaddy safety net.  True he may be some years older than you and not shower ever day but many people have careers they are not happy with.  While opportunities do diminish over time they do not entirely evaporate, not for beauty, making it an excellent career choice.

My uncle Ben once told me “With great power comes great responsibility.” So remember your responsibility should you choose a career of beauty, for it does indeed hold great power.  I can become totally captivated by the beauty of a woman.  She could be the dumbest meanest bitch to ever have walked the face of this earth and it would take me hours even days (depending on how hot she was) to notice, or care.  I blame it on evolution and genetics, some say I’m just shallow but I don’t like that theory.  So while I am enthralled by the beautiful bitch from hell my one true love could walk by and out the door, never to be seen again.  It could be months before the next one comes along, so remember your responsibility if you chose the career of beauty.

The Marijuana retirement plan


, , , , , ,

Being a curious and rational individual I never understood the criminalization of a plant that most people could grow in their backyard like a weed.  Therefore, many years ago I took it upon myself to study the effects of its long-term use.  To date the doctor assures me that my boobs are no larger than average man’s of my age and weight.

For those who believe smoking a joint today will lead to shooting heroin tomorrow please leave now. Being in the same room with such irrational people, even in cyberspace, scares me.

My research also led me to the conclusion that legalization would benefit both the consumer and the economy.  Given the opportunity many consumers would grow their own.  Gardening is a good way to relieve the stress of body and mind and connect with the earth.  You may also enjoy the bounty that mother earth provides.

You can grow a marijuana plant for about the same price as a tomato plant freeing up hundreds of millions perhaps billions of dollars to be spent on the open economy and taxed.  Not only would the consumer have more money for new goods and services but businesses would be making more sales and governments collecting more taxes. A win, win, win situation.

New Perspective

Opinions may change depending from where one views the issue.  While the above may still be true I am twenty years on down the road.  Social security is starting to look a little wobbly, my IRA has taken some hits in recent years and I no longer support the legalization of marijuana.

Upon retirement, still some years away, I may need to supplement my income.  I now think of illegal as equal to price support.  A small indoor grow operation seems a fine way for an older gentleman to support himself.

I would not go into such a business now simply because I have too much to lose should I get busted, but if I were 70 plus years old?  Not that you should ever rely on the government to act in a rational manner but seriously would they even want me and if so for how long?  How much difference is there between a prison old folk’s home and a civilian one?  All cost/benefit questions but you need the price support, marijuana must remain illegal, sorry.

Teaching homosexuality


, , ,

A brilliant idea some groups on the right have accused some groups on the left of attempting.  I do not know if such a thing is possible, but if so, I am certain all heterosexual men should support it.

Is it possible?  That question seems to revolve around the issue of nature vs. nurture.  On the nature side are those who believe that by the time a baby boy is born he has already decided, without yet knowing it, if he will be a pussy chasing dog or not.  Then there are those who believe that it is the environment in which he is raised that will be the determining factor as to what is on the other side of the ass he chases.

While I am not an anthropologist, sociologist, psychologist, geologist, meteorologist, or any other kind of ologist I am a reasonably intelligent and somewhat educated heterosexual man who leans heavily towards the nature point of view but is really pulling for the other side. Imagine a land where thousands, neigh millions, tens of millions of boys are raised to be gay.  A country of millions and millions of women with sexual needs and only a select few heterosexual men available to fill those needs.

I have a dream, a dream that some day short men and old men, fat men and bald men will all get to bang the hot chick of their choice.  I dream of the day when a woman judges a man not by his looks or his character but by wither or not he will go down on her, I have a dream.

Therefore, I say to the heterosexual men of America if you like pussy but find the competition to stiff, the quality flat, or perhaps you are looking down the road a few years and not sure, you will be able to afford the young stuff.  Then I say to you do not just support gay rights but advocate strongly for our misguided brothers.  Rise up from coast to coast, educate the public, and teach their lifestyle.  Teach it in the schools, in daycares, on the playgrounds.

Be proud to stand with our brothers, you will be glad you did.